


Choose Your Family

by precious_passenger (orphan_account)



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-29 00:45:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/998855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/precious_passenger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an unfortunate encounter with a family member he hasn't seen for a long while, Kurt finds himself rethinking the way he used to value those who should be considered his priority, his family. He and Blaine try to find someplace to feel safe from the hurt and hate that seems to be targeting them even where they should be safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set in season 2, after "Never Been Kissed”.

The moment Blaine entered Lima Bean for his weekly coffee date with Kurt, _meeting_ , his mind corrected annoyingly, he knew something had gone wrong.

Kurt was sitting stiffly in the chair, his expression more guarded than usual. Blaine saw evident cheer in the boy's face as soon as Kurt noticed him, and it made him happy.

“Hey!” Blaine said, his hand instinctively reached to touch Kurt’s outstretched one on the table. He was immediately disappointed and a bit concerned when Kurt jumped back and retrieved his hand back, though he tried to make up with smiling apologetically but his eyes had gone back to a sad, faraway look Blaine had witnessed earlier.

 _What did they do to you today?_ Blaine wanted to ask, but he knew Kurt better. He would just change the subject and deny everything when confronted directly. He’d also try to put on his “Everything is superb” face.

So Blaine chose to just let it go for now and fell back to the pleasant weekly routine of talking with Kurt. It was true that they texted and called almost every day, but texting couldn’t illustrate the excited way the boy moved his hands, talking about Finn’s latest misadventures at home, that almost knocked out the coffee on the table; or the small chuckle and how it made his whole face and eyes light up after Blaine’s long rendition of today's Warbler practice, which consisted of a very angry-where did you hide my gavel-Wes episode. That actually was the reason that he was late, Blaine explained. Wes wouldn't let them go, not until one of the freshmen's guiltily glanced at the piano. Kurt’s eyes just sparkled and laughed and Blaine couldn't help but join him. 

Blaine had to admit that he had a very serious crush on the boy and caught himself staring almost dumbly at him. The mood was lightened and they were silently sipping their coffee. That’s why Blaine was caught by surprise when he heard Kurt’s quiet and almost shy question.

“Blaine, if you don’t mind me asking, how did your family react when they found out you were gay?"

Blaine stumbled to form an answer.

“Well, they secretly believe that I’m going through a phase and just following the trend,” he continued angrily, “scratch that, it's not a secret belief at all. After a few weeks of not talking to me when I came out, the first thing my dad told me was “after this whole gay fever passes you'll go back to normal, son”” Blaine mocked in a low voice, mimicking his dad. He scowled angrily at the bottom of his coffee cup.

“Why are you asking me this? You told me how supportive and amazing your father is. Is there a problem now?”

Kurt shook his head with a sad smile. “No, he still wins every "Best Dad" award it was ever made. It’s just that... my grandmother planned to visit us this week. Just, you know to meet Carole and have some nostalgic mother-in-law moments with my dad.”

“Did your grandmother and Carole not get along?” Blaine asked, perplexed.

“Oh, no,” Kurt disagreed immediately, “on the contrary, they became friends quite quickly. It was kind of strange actually, especially for Dad. It’s not every day when the mother of your late wife asks to meet your girlfriend. When she first called to announce that she’ll be visiting us, we all thought that she was coming to freak over Carole and Finn.”

Kurt tried to describe the madness that went on the Hummel-Hudson household in those days.

“I mean, Carole was definitely the one freaking out the most. She just kept on scrubbing the house for days and trying to teach Finn how to have some manners for when grandma arrives.”

Blaine couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“I mean, my heart ached for Carole. It’s established that nothing can get between Finn and his precious food. He’s like a pre-programmed robot when he sees it. It was fun to watch them bicker endlessly, though meals and specially Friday night dinners started resembling a never ending fight. They finally compromised and just agreed following some basic behaviors, like, you know, chewing with your mouth closed, or just generally no talking for Finn in kitchen table.” Kurt chuckled at that, quite pleased at that particular rule.

“And Carole compromised on some other things that were considered “useless dapperness” by Finn. Like, you know, not asking for a fourth helping. ”

And a fresh round of giggles stopped the conversation for a short while.

“And he won’t admit it, not really, but my dad was nervous too. This was the first time we would be seeing her since…, well, since mom’s funeral.” Unshed tears filled Kurt’s eyes and Blaine was able to hold his hands without hearing him complain or shy away.

Kurt took a deep breath to compose himself and continued.

“But as it turned out there were no evil mother-in-law plans involved at all. She was just feeling lonely and wanted to see how her daughters’ family was doing. The dinner after my grandmother arrived was emotional and heartwarming, I mean, even Finn was crying. She basically gave them her blessing .Not that my dad needed any encouragement, I might add, I have a feeling that he’s going to propose to Carole soon. She also asked to stay in touch with the family.”

The happy and peaceful look on Kurt darkened then as he remembered something. His tone became cold and distant.

“And yeah, she definitely loved Finn.”

Blaine felt like they were coming close to the real reason why Kurt was so tense today. It was just difficult to get him open up. He usually brushed off even the most offensive and rude treatments he had been on the receiving end of. The massive amount of strength and courage he used every day was admiring, but sometimes it seemed that he didn’t know what to do about his emotions when they got the best of him, because all Kurt had learned to do was just keep closing off and shutting down. More often than not he felt that Kurt had been tip-toeing around the subject that made him uneasy and needed a little push in the right direction to actually let it out. And Blaine was proud to admit, was one of the few people in Kurt’s life who actually had the privilege to get to know the inner working of the mind that is Kurt Hummel. He started timidly.

“So I understand from what you’re saying that you were jealous of him. You know, your grandmother may just be trying to get Finn to warm up to her and accept her. It’s completely natural.”

Blaine saw anger flash through Kurt’s eyes and felt him retract his hands from his own.

“You don’t get, do you?” His voice was slightly raised, “it’s not about some silly talk they shared and how she babied him or the fact that Finn kept shoveling down all the food she brought from airport, very unhealthy and greasy food, I have to add. The problem is my own grandmother that I’ve been idolizing since I was a little kid, can’t stand to look at me anymore, because I’m not the perfect grandson she would expect”.

He hadn’t ever seen Kurt like that. It seemed like he was trying so hard to just keep himself together, or was just on the edge of clawing through his hair and mess that immaculate and complicated hair-do. He felt pretty sure that if they were alone, Kurt would be walking around the room franticly, just like a caged animal.

“Hey” he tried to calm him down. But Kurt wouldn’t look at him in the eye.

“She’s the only thing I have left of my mother, Blaine, the only real link,” He let out a dark, humorless laugh that actually sent a chill through Blaine, “of course Finn had to be the one she preferred more.”

This conversation was not doing Kurt any good.

“Now come on Kurt, don’t be jealous, this doesn’t mean she loves you any less.”

As soon as the sentence was out of Blaine’s mouth Kurt actually jumped up from his seat and looked like he might just start pacing the floor. But then it seemed like he remembered that they were in the middle of a coffee shop and with a practiced ease collected himself in a matter of seconds and just sat there staring at nothing. His tone was icy when he replied.

“I’m not five years old, Blaine, so stop treating me like one.”

“Then just tell me what’s bothering you, Kurt, talk to me. Don’t shut me off and throw me in loops”.

“Ok” came a quiet reply from the boy. Blaine found it interesting to see this side of Kurt. Unlike the diva and confident side of him that shined through with sassy gestures and funny sarcasm, when he was vulnerable he became the shyest of people, needing constant reassurance. It was necessary for the boy to just lift off all the bravado and let the scared little boy hiding behind it breathe for a while.

“I’d fixed my room so she would be staying there. Because mine was the cleanest and most organized out of all others and I would just be sleeping in Finn’s room while she was here,” Kurt replied in monotone, sounding defeated and tired, “she didn’t sleep on any of it, Blaine. Not one of them. She had packed her own blanket and pillow and used them instead of mine. She actually threw another blanket on my mattress so she wouldn’t even touch the bed I’d used. She didn’t hug me and even acted like I wasn’t in the room,” Blaine could feel alarm bells ringing as he described more, “the only time she even acknowledged my existence was to say that Finn would be a good influence on me. And when I went to laundry room to get my clothes from washer, they were all gone.”

 _What? She did…What?_ was all that was going on Blaine’s mind.

“She left this morning, only staying two days instead of the week she planned” Kurt looked miserable. “You know why she left Blaine?” and waited until Blaine shook his head helplessly, “because I confronted her, just like you said, do you remember Blaine, what you told me?”

What happened next was what both boys were expecting but neither were actually ready for it. Kurt suddenly burst into tears. He was sobbing in the middle of a very busy cafeteria, when all that noise reminds you even more how much alone you really are.

Kurt just curled in a ball in his seat, refusing to move one bit from his posture.

Blaine could only catch snippets of what he was saying through his sobs. It was the single most terrifying thing Blaine had experienced, feeling you couldn’t do anything but watch as the scene unfolds.

“I’m so sorry Blaine, I’m dumping this on you, and I just can’t take it anymore”.

“The very definition of a pathetic train-wreck.”

“Stop crying.”

“Why can’t I be ordinary and just blend in?”

“She doesn’t love me anymore” Kurt hiccupped.

“She’d be ashamed of me now”.

“That’s why she left, because she couldn’t stand to look at me anymore.”

“I disappointed her”.

A feeling of dread washed over him as he began to finally understand what Kurt was trying to tell him all this time without saying it. He couldn’t allow this self-loathing monologue to go on anymore.

“Kurt, look at me. Who doesn’t love you anymore? Who’s ashamed of you?”

A long silence followed, and then Kurt looked up at him with tear-filled eyes and answered.

“My mom.”

 _Stupid_ , Blaine chanted to himself. He should’ve been paying more attention to where their conversation was heading to. It wasn’t about some childish sibling rivalry. It wouldn’t be enough reason for Kurt to be crying his eyes out in here. Unlike him and Cooper who sometimes fight like they were kids, Kurt is too kind and compassionate to envy Finn that much. Well, when Blaine was a kid, Cooper still in his early teens, even then Blaine’s heart would simultaneously break and he’d be filled with anger when he’d hear how nobody saw his silly attempts to win over everyone’s like his brother effortlessly would and how they only paid attention to his brother’s inevitable success.

Blaine was furious at himself for not being a good friend and blabbing like an idiot, realizing it was upsetting Kurt even more, but not knowing that he went too far.

“Now, snap out of it, Blaine Anderson,” he thought, “and fix your mess.”


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine sat there for a few moments, watching helplessly as Kurt tried, unsuccessfully, to compose himself. He couldn’t even form coherent sentences anymore. He could see that Kurt was stuck. Blaine finally decided to go get a refill for their coffees, seeing that Kurt was becoming more troubled by his presence to even begin to process the thought of calming down. As heartbreaking as it seemed, letting him cry was the best he could offer right now.

Obviously he’s been holding all these emotions for quite a while now.

He put his hand on Kurt’s arm and scooted closer in his chair so he could inform him that he’ll be back in a second with coffee. He received a shaky nod and a sad, watery smile.

As Blaine was heading for the line, he let his mind deal with all the information Kurt had given him. He decided that he made a good decision, letting Kurt be alone, at least for now. The truth couldn’t be sugar-coated with offers of lunches, cuddles or movies anymore, like he had done after Karofsky’s abuse to cheer him up. The emotional hurt seemed too raw for that. But it was absolutely Kurt’s decision, Blaine decided, how this meeting would continue.

He couldn’t help trying to imagine Kurt’s grandmother, the cause of all this mess. He imagined an adorable wrinkled old lady with gray hair and Kurt’s eyes that would smell like cookies and once fashionable perfume that she’d still use. His heart broke for the boy as he added the sharp tongue to his mental image. He paid for the coffee, shaking his head to get the thoughts out of his head.

He began to panic a little when he found their table empty, but then saw Kurt exiting the bathroom, looking much calmer, and with a soft smile for him. He greeted him with the coffee.

“Do you want to leave?” He muttered, providing the Kurt the option to avoid talking if he wasn’t up for it.

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine.” Kurt smiled again, accepting the coffee with a muttered “thank you” and both their hands lingered on the cup a second longer than necessary.

A shy silence fell upon them for a few moments as they drank the warm coffee. Blaine cleared his throat and began.

 “So let me see if I got this straight. Your grandmother , the very one who you haven’t seen in what, eight years , suddenly decides to show up, stay for like two days and during those two days she managed to make you feel .. like this?”  
“That summed it up pretty well, mister,” Kurt laughed.

“Seriously Kurt, tell me what happened. Don’t act like it doesn’t bother you.”

The laughter quickly died on Kurt’s lips. “Guess what, Blaine? It doesn’t matter how I act about it. It wouldn’t get any better. Just like it didn’t matter for my grandmother that I practically grew up in her house. I guess at that time she just found it funny for a kid who kept asking for bits and pieces of clothes and permission to use the sewing machine instead of running around with kids,” He looked far off the distance, recalling the memories, “sometimes my mother would join us there too.”

“You don’t really believe that she wouldn’t have loved you now, do you? Your mother, I mean.” Blaine muttered softly.

“No, I don’t,” Kurt answered honestly, “but it’s not that hard to imagine how it would be after that shouting match of a fight with my grandmother. I mean most of what she said to me was nothing compared to all the crap I daily go through school. Some were almost comical, like telling me how I’d burn in hell. She obviously wasn’t updated about my atheist status .The clothes she had most likely thrown away were from last season and I was planning to sell them sooner or later. But it still hurts. I can’t bring myself to just not feel or care at this much hate from someone I used to look up to.”

“I know exactly what you mean. When I came out everyone I knew of either turned their back on me or trying to convince me that I was wrong.” Blaine nodded, agreeing.

“You know Blaine, this isn’t a contest for “Let’s see who’s got the worst life”, as heartwarming as you having problem sounds it doesn’t help making mine less insignificant or hurtful”.

Blaine looked at him wide-eyed, somehow offended. Kurt also stopped talking, seeming shocked at what he said. He apologized immediately.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what came over me.”

Blaine frowned. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel like your problems don’t matter. I was just trying to show that you weren’t alone. I thought that’s what you wanted given the fact that earlier you asked me about it.”

“I know. You’re right. Please please please forgive me?”

“Alright, apology accepted.”

“So you didn’t have anyone to support you then, when you found out you were gay?” Kurt continued shyly, wordlessly asking Blaine to continue his story despite his rude interruption.

Blaine smiled at him to show that he really was forgiven for his outburst. He couldn’t really blame him. If he hadn’t discovered boxing and doing various sports as a way of letting his anger out, he would be just as Kurt had acted every single day of his life.  
“Yeah. I mean, when I was still a kid each time the television would show a program about gay-rights or only just showed two men or women display any kinds of feelings that weren’t platonic friendship, they would just shake their head, make these disgusted noises and change the channel. The kids in school weren’t any better. I was quite popular at my old school before I came out, so I was friends with almost everyone and none showed any compassion.”

“You know what the icing on the cake was? That when I grew old enough to realize I am indeed one of those people on television that my parents hated so much…”

Blaine recalled that period of his life vividly. When he would crush on some boys in his class during the school year, and wondered what was wrong with him. When he couldn’t really get what all these fuss about girls was, but he continued faking and agreeing, just to fit in. When his best friend, who he’d been seriously crushing on, hugged him goodbye and his heart was beating too rapidly that his friend asked him about it and his face so flushed, he’d silently thanked his lucky stars that it was almost dark in the street. As he stuttered a silly excuse that he’s just so excited for school tomorrow and he’d been walking rather quickly, that’s when he began to really see the truth about himself.

“When I was finally sure and struggling to accept that I am in fact gay, they actually apologized to me every time the television showed something or a discussion would start that in their idea would surely corrupt my innocent mind. I’ve never felt so guilty or confused as I did then.”

Blaine was surprised to find some traitor tears sliding down on his cheek.

“You’ll never know how lucky you are Kurt to have a parent who understands you. I mean, after I came out, for a long while, I had this strict, almost comical bonding session with my dad that consisted of things that he considered the manly stuff a boy should do and wasn’t allowed to sing or play musical instruments.”

Blaine shook his hand at the memory. While other boys in his age hid their porn and dirty magazines, he was hiding his favorite CDs, listening to them when his father wasn’t home and pretending he was playing his guitar or piano.

“I know some lesbian friends of mine whose parents forbid them to cut their hair and were forced to stop hanging with the boys, and only wear skirts and over-girly clothes. Also there are some other gay or bisexual guys in Dalton that receive even more sad treatments from their parents. Many of their parents, and I suspect mine too, use Dalton as a way of getting rid of them. So they wouldn’t be forced to look at the disappointment of the son they have as often.”

Kurt felt a surge of anger coursing in his body, listening to Blaine talk about himself and what he thought his parents thought of him like that. He couldn’t stand that someone like Blaine, who was just perfect and so polite, be treated like that. He couldn’t stand the thought of some nameless face, sharing a house with Blaine, but not knowing how great their son is.

“You know how many of them just gave up and decided to just get a boyfriend or girlfriend their family approved to just be able to relax in their own homes until they got out of it. We’re not a program with a glitch that they’re trying over and over again to fix us. It’s one thing to have a problem with who we are, but to think of changing it. That’s not what a family should do. We’re human, Kurt. Just like any one of them. We grew up with them. Had the same food and house they had. Laughed at the same jokes. Yet we’re treated like a bunch of aliens invading their lives”.

Kurt felt a flutter in his stomach every time Blaine said “we” in his sentences. It made him feel like he finally belonged in a group. Of course with New Directions he also felt like he wasn’t an alien to them. But with Blaine, it just seemed effortless. He didn’t have to constantly worry that what he said would accidently cause Blaine to run away screaming, like he’d felt sometimes when talking to the boys in glee.

He mentioned this to Blaine.

“I mean sure, they were better than my last group of girlfriends in middle school who thought I would be stealing their boyfriends from them and just shooed me away from their group, but this feels good .”

And the butterflies danced wildly in his stomach at the tired and grateful smile he received. Now all the hurt was out and they felt so much closer to each other in the past hours. _I was wrong,_ Kurt thought. Knowing that he wasn’t alone, it helped a great deal. He didn’t feel as broken as he felt when he left the house.

“So, now what?” Blaine asked him. “What are you planning to do about all this?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, now what?” Blaine asked him. “What are you planning to do about all this?”

“What do you mean?” Kurt raised his eyebrow. “Is there anything to be done? She told me that she had booked an earlier flight yesterday and is staying in a hotel. Tonight she’ll be gone. Hopefully for at least another eight years.”

Blaine tried again. “Have you at least told your dad about it? What if she decided to visit again?”

“Of course I didn’t tell him. What would I say, that my family is coming apart because of me? The only thing I can rely on is that she’d be so repulsed by me that she wouldn’t visit again.”

He laughed darkly. Hating his grandmother and to some degree hating himself.

“Believe me, I’m more than aware of how heartbreakingly cruel people can get. But family is supposed to be the rock that you can lean on when those people try to beat you down. When your own rock is the one shaking you to your core, what are you supposed to do? ”

Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hand tightly between his own. And softly replied.

“Find another rock.”

Kurt threw his head back and laughed.

“No, I’m serious”. Blaine shook his shoulder to stop his laughter. “Who says that we should only rely on family’s support? If they don’t respect you and accept you, they don’t deserve you. It’s not even about being gay, it could be anything else, because your whole being doesn’t revolve around whether you’re gay or not. If you can’t find comfort in your own home you shouldn’t give up on happiness and acceptance. You have all these awesome friends who have your back. You’ll make even better ones when you leave this shit-hole.and you’ll always have me.”

“You are fabulous, Blaine Anderson.”

Blaine felt himself blush and looked down.

“Do you want to leave and hit the mall?”

“God yes, my ass hurts like…I mean, sure, yeah.”

As the boys stood up, smiling to each other like two crazy people, Blaine felt the gazes of other costumers on them, surely curious about the emotional state both boys were in, given that in the past two hours they more or less broke down at some point. Let them stare, Blaine thought somehow giddily, feeling a pang in his chest that warmed all his body, making him feel like he was floating. Like in that moment there was nothing that would ever stop him. He wanted to just stand up there and hug Kurt like he wouldn’t, couldn’t, let go. Kiss him in the middle of McKinley’s courtyard and dance with him when junior prom arrived. This was the first time he was feeling so strong about something since he arrived at Dalton and it wasn’t just because he was madly in love with Kurt, _whoa! Where did **that** come from?!_, but he just wanted to show the world that no matter what they thought, said or did, he was Blaine Devon Anderson, a gay teenager, and he was going to give himself a chance to be happy. Either with his current family, or most likely making a beautiful one himself. And he was going to show this new revelation to this beautiful boy sitting across from him..

Even if it was the last thing he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could say that it'll all be good and sunshine and rainbows in the end.. but yeah, not in this lifetime :)

**Author's Note:**

> I've recently moved from FFnet and spent the whole day, which I should've studied, reading articles about how to improve my writing. So now I'm slowly publishing and editing the work I've previously done. I hope you enjoy them :)


End file.
